Saturday, November 6, 2010

Tracings and Leavings

Today it was rain.  It was fog outside and inside my head.  It was paper cups of Earl Grey until I felt as sloshy as my boots.  It was the turn inward, the curve into my own thoughts, leading in spirals, tracing pencil lines like swirls in the margins of textbook pages.  It was feeling absent from everything that matters, this one truth insistent as the drip, drip, drip of the leaf-clogged gutter beside the porch.  Today it was a radio playing somewhere else, muffled through a wall or a floor or a door--not sure which--but the voices of other lives were there, just beyond reach.  It was stacks and stacks of paper, notecards half-written, thank-you's that trailed off to what if's.  It was the deception of cinnamon-sugar bubbling over in the oven, the burn, the syrupy-sweet.  You may be excused, the clock said, whether I wanted it or not.  And then suddenly there I was far off in the rain like a figure on a road through a fogged windshield.  You can rub and rub but still the fog remains and there she is, small and dark, wearing the wrong coat and those awful boots as she heads off into godknowswhere.

23 comments:

  1. Beautiful Gigi.
    Hope you feel better soon. Lovely to hear that though you feel foggy you bake with cinnamon. Whatever it takes, huh? xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  2. Gigi ~

    Sometimes walking through the fog is the only way I make it through a day ~ I tend to think there will be something great that comes from those long moments when my head is in the clouds. All I know is that lately, I've had more foggy days than others, so surely, there is some sunshine around the bend {fingers-crossed}.
    Bisous,
    Melissa

    ReplyDelete
  3. I can almost smell the cinnamon sugar doing it's magic.
    hope your fog clears soon.
    enjoy the tea my friend ♥

    ReplyDelete
  4. All I know is I get the blues on those rainy
    foggy days. Yesterday the fog was coming from the cove to the windows, I could hardly see the yard. I was in lala land yesterday too. I don't care how cold it is I need SUN.
    I attacked the Fridg, cleaned it out completely and blogged.
    yvonne

    ReplyDelete
  5. Head this way. You sound like you need solid china for your Earl Grey and conversations where boots and coats don't matter, and most of all a bit of good luck. Wishing you, wishing you, wishing you well.

    ReplyDelete
  6. i like your foggy thoughts and visions.....i really do.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Perfect mood setter for me this morning. My coffee, my book and I are heading back to bed. No rain here, so I'll darken the room, turn on my sound machine and wait to face the world tomorrow.

    Suzan

    ReplyDelete
  8. Beautiful, Gigi..I have been feeling that same exact way myself for the past few days....Cinnamon has me inspired now to bake something today...Be well, my lovely friend! xxoo :)

    ReplyDelete
  9. ...you may be excused the clock said.....

    what a brillant line...

    all your writing..brilliant

    enjoyed this so much..as i always do...

    ReplyDelete
  10. This is beautiful, Gigi. Truly brings across your foggy feelings. Hope it clears soon, and I hope it brought some unexpected clarity. You know, the kind of clarity you don't know is brewing when you are having a foggy day.
    :-)
    C x

    ReplyDelete
  11. Oh I know that foggy head feeling! Earl Grey tea does help a bit doesn't it?

    Today I woke to snow!

    ReplyDelete
  12. "...feeling absent from everything that matters..." That's when the inner fog is very pea-soupy... May the mist lift... and enjoy the tea in the meantime. Even the meantime has it's moments... ;o) ((HUGS))

    ReplyDelete
  13. If we must have days like this, (and we all must, no matter how cheerfully some will deny it), then to have the ability to write so perfectly about it must be some consolation. It is consolation to me, a gift to your lucky reader.

    ReplyDelete
  14. oh gigi ...
    oh that thick fog and what it can do ...

    i too, love you may be excused the clock said ... i can almost see that kind face gently nodding approval ... : )

    i too, love how through the density of that day, you have pulled together the perfect words and given us this gift ...

    just be and know the fog will lift ...
    with love,
    prairiegirl

    ReplyDelete
  15. ahhh... cinnamon. how beautiful.
    i send you love, my friend.

    ReplyDelete
  16. I really like the contrast in colors.. and OMG, the whoopie pies are dear to me.. I grew up with mummum (grandma) making them...

    ReplyDelete
  17. Oh, I know. Days when your head is so thick you almost wish it wouldn't stay attached. Feel better soon, my friend.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Truly, we all feel like that. Happily, it's a temporary state in the ever-present flux. At least your mastery of words hasn't deserted you . . . because fogginess sounds wonderful in this prose-poem.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Gigi, you may be walking in a fog, but your words are as clear and beautifully lucid as ever. You write poetry, even when you are writing in prose. So beautiful.
    Cinnamon sugar...that is such the perfect thing for a foggy day. Your heart truly knows what you need, my friend.

    ReplyDelete
  20. I love the way your words and thoughts flow. You are quite the artist of words. thank you.

    ReplyDelete
  21. This was one of my perfect posts of 2010. Thank you for the steady source of inspiration you provide here. I miss you, my friend. Wish we could meet for coffee.

    ReplyDelete
  22. here via Relyn,

    exquisite . truly.
    looking forward to reading more.

    ReplyDelete

Thank you so much for visiting and for taking the time to leave a comment! I love hearing from you.