Tuesday, May 11, 2010

What My Heart Knew


Yes, this is a humble pigeon that I photographed last summer in London (and processed like crazy tonight, including a texture from Skeletal Mess), but somehow a bird that looks rather silly cooing and pecking and strutting on the ground assumes a mantle of grace as soon as it takes wing.  I feel like I was a grounded pigeon myself for a very long time.  Not that I am exactly what one could call graceful now,  but once I stopped pecking at the crumbs others tossed me, I certainly felt much less restricted by my own fears or measured by other's opinions.

As I take a running leap of faith and attempt to catch a bit of air to hold me aloft, I am summoning up all the courage I can.  Over the past few years I have lost much, including friendships, a career, and any  feeling at all of being at home in the place where I live, but I have gained a new perspective, and I have discovered a profound self-respect.  And with these gains, my heart has grown stronger, more able to withstand the judgement, harsh words, and even the cruelty of certain others; it has grown more willing to fail, and more willing to succeed as well.  I think my heart knew all along what I could do.  Only my stubborn, skeptical mind needed convincing. 

Do you ever doubt that you are amazing?  When you do, come visit me here.  My heart and yours will have a chat.  Together, we'll cast away doubts.  Together we'll grow stronger than our fears.  Together, we'll take flight.  Together, we'll find grace.  

39 comments:

  1. Dearest Gigi ~

    One of life's greatest lessons....listening intently to our hearts. I always come right here my dear friend, every single time I need to be inspired, for your words always soothe my heart and mind. Your writing is true magic.

    And I know that you will continue to soar with grace and beauty.

    Bisous,
    Melissa

    ReplyDelete
  2. This is such a beautiful post, your are magic with words. Thank you for brightening my morning. :)
    Gem
    xxx

    ReplyDelete
  3. oh...Gigi...this is a beautiful,honest post.
    I love your words...thank you~~xo

    ReplyDelete
  4. Oh Gigi, I think you might find that I would hang around all too often, such are the doubts at times. But I think if I just reread your post often then some of your inspiring thoughts might just rub off. Thanks for such a beautifully written and honest piece.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I cannot tell you how this touched me. I so admire your ability to put into words what you feel and think.

    I agree with darling Mels words,

    Thank you my friend,
    xxx

    ReplyDelete
  6. "The art of losing isn't hard to master" (and the loss is, as you're finding flight again, no disaster) - One Art. We wish you very, very well.

    ReplyDelete
  7. This is a beautiful post. I have come to realise that no one is perfect, that we all have a fear of something. But with togetherness, understanding gentle words and a little less judgment we can all help each other.

    Thank you for this gem of a post :)

    ReplyDelete
  8. Someone would have to be very silly indeed to not be friends with you Gigi.....for whatever reason. It would be difficult to not see your big heart and kind nature. Inspiring too. A beautiful post as always. XO

    ReplyDelete
  9. Loved this post! I never thought about pigeons this way but you are totally right on!

    ReplyDelete
  10. gigi, this post brought tears... for soo many reasons...
    but mostly tears of happiness...
    for you and for me... and for all those who claim their amazingness...and go with it...

    it's truly so very exciting!!

    happiest tuesday, my most amazing friend!!

    xxo, kim

    ReplyDelete
  11. Thank you so, so much, my friends. I was afraid to post this, but then I did it anyway. Oh, my, I practiced what I preached!!!! I hope I can keep doing it. You all are a big part of what gives me courage. I can never thank you enough.

    Oh, and Mise, "One Art" is one of my very, very favorite poems. As my former students know, I LOVE Elizabeth Bishop; I LOVE villanelles; and I LOVE the very heart of this poem. You are completely right on, my friend.

    ReplyDelete
  12. ok...but only as long as you promise, really promise to be there, K?

    ReplyDelete
  13. such a beautiful post and a beautiful photograph

    ReplyDelete
  14. It's like an oil painting Gigi!
    ~Beautiful!!!
    Have no fear, cos' fear is the opposite of love!
    xo

    ReplyDelete
  15. Tears for me as well! What a beautiful post this is Gigi!
    Doubt and fear are alive and well within me, but it feels like with every passing year I learn a little more, doubt myself less and grow a little stronger. Whenever I sit down to talk to an elderly woman I am always amazed at their strength, confidence and lack of self doubt. I'm still looking forward to growing up, except my "When I grow up I want to be...." has changed a little.
    Thank you for this post!
    Hugs,
    Catherine

    ReplyDelete
  16. What a beautiful post. I also lost a job I loved, friends and that secure feeling of "being home" when we had an unexpected move almost 7 years ago. It took me a long time to stop dwelling on the losses and to seek other ways to find joy. I have new friends, I've learned that I am not my job and that I enjoy many things more than being on someone else's schedule...I still have to solve that "home" issue. This place isn't it...maybe the next place will be.

    ReplyDelete
  17. A quote I saved from a calendar stated...
    "Difficulties strengthen the mind,
    as well as labor does the body."..and I would add they strengthen the heart too...thank you for this dear gg...What a gift of the heart you give us all today...and if you ever need reminding how amazing you are...please visit Arcadia...

    Maybe because I never lived in a city, I have always liked pigeons...their iridescent feathers, their coos, their adaptability...the processing you did to this is beautiful...I am going to repeat myself here...I can't belive how quickly you have become so good at it!

    ReplyDelete
  18. Gigi - this is a lovely post. I have also learned that good comes from adversity, it was just not the best journey to get here. But now that I am here, I count my blessings and keep living every day in grace. Thank you.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Being "grounded" is an interesting concept. I'm thinking about the areas in my life where this might be happening. Very thought provoking and inspiring. It seems you've made some courageous moves in your life. Well done! Thank you for this post.

    ReplyDelete
  20. My path has been leading to some of these same lessons. I really needed to hear what you had to say in this post. Thank you for that. I have never visited before but after today I am proud to say I am a follower of your blog.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Gigi, once again, I'm speechless! I have goosebumps. I could requote everything you've just written with such insight and grace. Like Sande, I cannot possibly imagine that ANYONE could not find you amazing, sensitive, charming, witty. It must all boil down to jealousy I'm sure. And you are indeed the one better off. So may I offer my shoulder for those what I hope will be rare moments that you may find yourself doubting again.
    I have been there too.
    Beaucoup d'amour

    A
    xx

    ReplyDelete
  22. Thank you, my friends. I don't have the words to express how much you all inspire me. I am blessed.

    ReplyDelete
  23. what a tender post ..such words that so many can relate to having gone through the times when "flight" seemed so difficult..your photo adds so much, blessings Gigi

    ReplyDelete
  24. I do think, dear Gigi, that there would be something wrong if we didn't all have doubt and fear at times in our lives. It HAS to be part of the process of life and makes us stronger. We must embrace it and learn from it. I can feel that you are doing this right now and it will help you go on to bigger and better things, my strong and amazing friend. Go flap those wings and soar, Gigi. XXXX

    ReplyDelete
  25. Yes.Yes.Yes!! Beautiful post, Gigi! xxoo :)

    ReplyDelete
  26. hello, i found you from Beth's blog Be Yourself, i adore your writing and am now following. such a beautiful invitation to others to share in what is sometimes a journey that takes us to where we may not particularly want to be. i'll be back.
    love the pic, pigeons have never looked so graceful!!!

    ReplyDelete
  27. Thanks, old friends, and welcome, McGillicutty! So glad to have you here. xo

    ReplyDelete
  28. he reminds me of jonathon livingston seagull
    your story kind of does too. glad to hear you are getting your mojo back :)
    ~laura xx

    ReplyDelete
  29. love this post. honest hard advice.

    ReplyDelete
  30. This touches me. It is true, sometimes we are the persons who are hardest to convince of our own greatness, so much doubt and fear stands in the way. Your testimony of having come through the dark inspires.... (Can you believe it? The word verification for this post is "bless.")

    ReplyDelete
  31. Thanks, Laura, Margie, and James. How perfect your verification word is, James. Like "grace," "bless" and "blessings" are words I think about often and never take for granted.

    ReplyDelete
  32. such lovely words once again, gigi.
    this last year has been one of great change for me as well... and one of loss in many ways. it was the loss which allowed me to look inward and make new discoveries about myself, and helped me taste the sweetness of my world. it is definitely a continuous struggle of daily reminders, though, to remember to let go of certain fears and regrets, and to learn to appreciate myself more often.

    you are amazing, my friend, and a constant source of inspiration!

    ReplyDelete
  33. There aren't even words to say to this. I'll just say one sentence, and trust that your heart can read all the rest that is written on mine.

    I love you, sweet friend.

    ReplyDelete
  34. Hello, Gigi!
    I adore magpies though I don't get to see them since I live in Massachusetts, too.

    I'm also married to a European and have endured the life transitions you described.

    Anyway, I just had to mention that I've only just "met" you and am thoroughly convinced that you are indeed amazing. :)
    cheers, Lisa

    ReplyDelete
  35. Hi Gigi,
    I came over from Kim's blog, and just love this post! What a lovely heart you have. You have certainly encouraged me!

    I am off to peek around your blog a bit more!
    Have a wonderful day!
    Blessings,
    Becky

    ReplyDelete
  36. You really truly are an amazing being. This post tugs at so many different parts of me, as I too take a running leap of faith. It is scary, but so very vital in order to have the authentic lives we yearn for.
    Thank you for reminding me that is ok, and often necessary to fail...and that much is to be gained and learned from those difficult experiences.
    Thank you for this perfect little nugget of wisdom. Love to you.

    ReplyDelete
  37. OH Gigi. What beautiful honest words. I am fortunate to have found them. You are quite a gifted wordsmith.

    ReplyDelete

Thank you so much for visiting and for taking the time to leave a comment! I love hearing from you.